Tuesday, April 29, 2014

New Found Freedom

There has been a lot going on in Faith’s life good and not so good.  Well I will just be touching you up on the latest.   We have been waiting on a wheelchair for her for a while now.  First we had to wait on the insurance then we ordered it and it takes about 2-3 months to come in.  But we got it and Faith loves it!  It has opened a new adventure for all of us.  She has never had to “stay with us” in public places because she has always been in our arms or in her stroller.  Also new to her is hearing “you can’t go over there” and “wait for us”.  So interesting that all this is new for a 3 year old.  I just love seeing her in it!  One more small step closer to her being more independent.  I am very ready for this independence.  I remember when she started crawling EVERYWHERE I love it!!  Below is a video of Faith on day two of her wheelchair.

I am going to change the subject a little and say that I look at my life after I was married but before kids and think I am so blessed to be married to my best friend.  Wow that was 10 years ago and here we are still totally in love and still Best Friends.  I wouldn't be able to do to my day to day things without this man in my life.  Oh how I love him.  Then we had Mason and I thought if Mic is half the Dad that I had growing up then Mason will live a life better than most.   Mason is my tender hearted, helpful, loves others more than himself, soccer player boy. Here we are 7 years later and WOW, Mic has been a wonderful Dad!!  (Well of course no Dad is better then mine ;) ) Then we had Elizabeth and I thought I am so excited to had a girl with the challenges that come with that.  I hope and pray that I can be my daughters friend as my mother is my friend.  Always there that no questions asked.  Mic got his princess, ballerina, soccer player.  Being a father to girls is a fine line of not meaning to push them away but letting them know you are always there for them.  Mic is the best dad to Elizabeth.  She is a special little thing.  Then we found out I we were pregnant once again and decided to not find out the sex of the baby.  I thought I wouldn't be able to handle this but it ended up being a blessing.  We went in for monthly sonograms  in KC at a specialist and they never told us what the sex was.  Then came delivery day and it was the one thing I was looking forward to, the one thing that was going to be for sure.  I was going to find out the sex of my baby.  I wasn't sure if this baby was going to survive the delivery, but I would get to find out the sex.  Then before the Doctor was able to say the sex for sure Mic saw it and leaned down and said, “Ashley it’s a girl!”  one second later the doctor says “It’s a girl!” .  I started to cry.  I  was not able to see or hold my baby and I knew that was going to happen, but I had no idea it was going to be so hard to see her in a little bed next to me and not be able to really see her.  She was on her tummy with a gigantic hole in her back.  And that is where the adventure started with her….  And here we are today,  Mic and I still together and more in love than ever before!  I will repeat myself and say He is my best friend the one and only I share my true self with the one and only who knows me better then I know myself sometimes.   Why did I share all that?  Because Jesus loves us more than we can even grasp, more than I love my children or my husband.  Crazy to think about.  Would you die for your family?  Your response of course is yes but if some stranger had a gun to your head it would be a little more real.  Would you still do it?  I remember hearing about a story where the grade school student was in the school where the shooter was and she was proclaiming his name and the shooter asked her do you love this Jesus?  She responded yes i do love him.  He shot her.  She went down Loving Jesus to the last second of her life.  I just pray that I would do that and that my kids would too!  Who ever you were you made an impact on my heart and where her parents are Jesus is soo proud of you!  

Wow that was off subject but I guess on my heart.

Having Faith has been wonderful.  I look back over that last three years and think about everything I have learned medically and how my perspective has changed on so many things. What, you don’t like it when your child won’t stop talking, talk back to you, or won’t stop screaming because they aren't getting what they want?  I would LOVE her Faith to say one word with her sweet voice that I know is in there somewhere.  One word!  That’s all I want, one word.  BUT then I think about all the women who can’t have their own baby, or lost a baby and in that moment I praise Jesus for giving me a warm body that smiles at me all the time to hug.  Yes I get frustrated because she can’t talk but I know I am blessed with what I have!! 

1 comment:

  1. Wonderful job of putting your thoughts into words.